This time last year was the most emotionally traumatic time of my life thus far. Emotional trauma can stem from a lot of different things: a death of a loved one, the end of a romantic relationship, an issue with your health or the health of a someone you love, etc. For me, it was a combination of all those things. What makes something count as traumatic? It's an extraordinarily stressful event that happens unexpectedly, in which your sense of security is destroyed. In turn you feel utterly helpless, overwhelmed, and isolated; the world as you know becomes completely unrecognizable.
This overwhelming feeling of darkness was something extremely new to me, in which I've never experienced anything like it before in my life. Getting out of bed was the most difficult task I could even fathom, calling out of work was a constant, running to the bathroom to cry became a part of my daily routine. I was sleeping most of my days away, I wasn't eating, and finding the energy to even take a shower was unbearable. I wasn't doing my makeup or even caring the tiniest bit about how I looked. In a matter of two months, my body was so weak that I ended up getting an upper respiratory infection, the stomach bug (twice), and the flu. I felt myself becoming nonexistent as a normal human being. I didn't know where to begin when it came to bettering myself, my happiness, and my health...I was completely broken and lost.
As this time of year rolls around once again, I find myself occasionally having anxiety, and apprehensiveness, when I think back to everything that took place one year ago. It's anniversaries like these that make you want to avoid even the thought of that particular time of year from rolling around. But the most important thing for me to do is to keep reminding myself about how much happier and healthier I am now. I've grown so much as a person from that experience, and it's something that has definitely changed me forever. When I look back and see how far I've come an immense sense of joy rushes over me; it's something I'm extremely proud of to say the least!
The purpose of me writing this post is to let those who feel what I've felt, or much worse, know that you're not alone; there is light at the end of the tunnel. No matter if your emotional trauma is triggered by a time of year, a person, place, or thing...know that it is real. Also know that having someone tell you that "You'll get over it eventually", or "Time heals all", isn't what you need to hear. Time may ease some of the pain, but it doesn't heal it. If an event was traumatic for you then that pain will always be there, lurking somewhere...but it's your inner strength to learn, grow, and prosper from your experience that makes you so strong. So if you're like me and a particular time of year triggers you the most, do these 5 things I've listed below to help you push through it:
1) ACKNOWLEDGE THE FACT THAT YOU'VE COME SO FAR.
2) REMIND YOURSELF THAT IT'S NORMAL TO FEEL THIS WAY.
3) KEEP YOURSELF BUSY WITH THINGS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY.
4) DON'T ISOLATE YOURSELF, BE AROUND PEOPLE YOU LOVE.
5) KEEP YOURSELF IN THE PRESENT: HERE AND NOW.
6) REMAIN POSITIVE ABOUT YOUR LIFE OVERALL, AND YOUR FUTURE.
xx Ash