Why does it always feel as though your new year's resolutions don't succeed? If you think about this every February, once the new year's season passed, and you've "failed"...you're not alone. Although the new year is looked at as a new beginning, it isn't always that - especially for those who keep repeating the same resolutions, year after year, because of not knowing how to successfully achieve them the first couple times around. For me, I've learned to not look at the new year as a time to write a list about everything I should change, but as a time to reflect on what's worked for me in the past, what hasn't, and how I can improve going forward. There are a lot of reasons behind why new year's resolutions fail...but in my opinion, the most important reasons are the ones I've listed below.
1) THE TIMING IN YOUR LIFE IS WRONG.
Nothing is worse than forcing something that shouldn't be. Just because it's the season of new years don't feel pressured to make huge life changes if you're not ready to do so. It's really overwhelming if you try and force a change, during a particular time of your life, when you're not ready for it. Failing may make you think that you're not capable of achieving that goal in general, but just remind yourself that maybe it's just the timing in your life that's holding you back.
2) TOO MANY RESOLUTIONS ARE BEING SET AT ONCE.
Once this happens, let the anxiety begin. It's the overwhelming amount of pressure to achieve everything on a list (at once) that makes failing more likely. Instead of generating a list filled with many resolutions, come up with a couple that are of most importance to you.
3) YOU'RE MAKING RESOLUTIONS BASED ON WHAT YOU THINK YOU SHOULD BE DOING.
These resolutions aren't based on what you actually should be doing, but on what you think you should be doing. Maybe the TV program, telling you that losing 10 pounds in two weeks will make you happy, isn't what's actually going to make you happy. Wouldn't you be more fulfilled making resolutions that attain more to your specific needs instead of those of others? Most definitely.
4) IF YOU RELAPSE TO AN OLD BEHAVIOR, YOU AUTOMATICALLY THINK YOU FAILED...SO YOU GIVE UP.
Relapse does happen, but that doesn't mean you've failed...it means you've hit a bump in the road. You shouldn't throw in the towel because of that, and say "maybe next year", because that's when excuses grow and nothing improves. You may fall back into old habits at times, but always remind yourself how rewarding the end result will feel once you've achieved that resolution.
5) YOU WAIT UNTIL THE NEW YEAR TO MAKE CHANGES THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN MADE OVER TIME.
Waiting until the new year to make a lot of changes in your life is the wrong way to go about things - you're saving too much for once. Instead, take small steps towards improvement all year round, day by day...in other words "don't treat a marathon like a sprint". Make these life changes on your own time, and at a pace that best suits you.
xx Ash