When you are going through something traumatic and deep you may feel as though you are the only person on Earth . Your world has a tunnel vision view and your mind is distorted into thinking you are the only one feeling this way - detachment becomes your norm. Throughout my experience with panic attacks I knew I wasn't alone in the fight but my brain kept telling me I was - it was convincing me of that and that completely. The chemical imbalance in my brain was telling me one thing and making me feel another. I had lost all control - all my fear and anxiety receptors were going off like fireworks. That's what happens when you're in full blown panic mode, a loss of control takes place and the feeling of loneliness and confusion devours you.
Talking to my parents and a psychologist was crucial. All and all the support from everyone and even online support groups is what made me realize I am not the only person going through this. Once I started doing intense research I realized that so many others were going through what I was going through - it was one of the biggest reliefs of my life.
That was another frustrating thing for me to accept, that I did go to school for this and knew it in and out - but like I said before experiencing it yourself is a completely different ball game. No matter how many positive, self talks I would give myself it was very apparent that the negative, anxious ones had more power over me in that moment. It was a loss of control that 100% scared me the most, especially since I've always been the type of person who felt in control when it came to my feelings and thoughts.
I tried one month to do it on my own, with the huge support of my parents - I was working out, changed my diet completely, used essential oils, yoga, took baths every night...you name it I tried it. In the end, it all went downhill when I had my worst attack ever, in which I felt as though I was having a seizure and almost made my parents take me to the hospital. That was the worst of the worst - I then knew I could not do this on my own. The next day we immediately called a psychologist to seek professional help. I also saw my regular doctor and was given medication to help me finally sleep since I was running on three days of barely any. From that moment on I felt my dissociated self slowly come back into my body.
All and all the point of the matter is you are never alone. No matter what the situation is...there are over 7 billion people on Earth, you will never be the only person that experiences a particular situation by yourself. And you know what? That's what I needed to remind myself heavily in that time of my life - I mostly attribute that to my parents but even if you aren't that fortunate to have that support system there are options. That is the whole point of this blog post, never sell yourself short and never think you're alone.
Have you ever felt this way before?
Have you ever been in a situation that made you feel completely alone?
If so, what helped you?
xx Ash