How to Improve Your "Sense of Self"

What is your "sense of self"?

Most assume that it's just thinking that you know yourself...but it's much deeper than that. The "self" is said to have three aspects: an actual, an ideal, and ought. An "actual" self is who you are and your characteristics. An "ideal" self is your ideal vision of who you wish you were/who you want to be. And an "ought" self is what you or others think you should be. Research has been done on this concept and how it affects ones life - and it is believed that when there is a discrepancy between your "actual" and "ideal" self that is when depression and is likely to occur.

This all may seem a little rigorous, so the real question is: how does your "sense of self" affect your behavior and overall your life? It could affect your life negatively if all the "selves" aren't lining up with each other. If they aren't then you can become frustrated and depressed without even knowing why. If they are lining up with each other, you then have a healthy "sense of self" in which how you look at yourself, your relationships, and the world are positive.

Having a healthy "sense of self" comes from our ability to manage our emotional experiences effectively. So if you want a healthy "sense of self" there are key questions that you need to ask yourself:

Who am I?

Who am I

...while alone?

...around people?




Who am I not? Why not?

Who am I in terms of my goals?

Who am I when it comes to my accomplishments?

Who am I when it comes to my failures?

These questions will help you gain more of an insight into you are in the present moment. Once you answer these questions you will then compare them to the set of questions I have listed below - which revolve around the kind of person you're looking to become:

Who am I wishing to become?

What kind of qualities do I want in the future?

How do I want to think in the future?

What kind of goals am I working towards in the future?

Once you've answered those questions you will lastly end with the ones I've listed below. It will help you pinpoint exactly what you need to do when it comes to transforming your present self into your future self.

When comparing my actual self and ideal self, where's the gap?

Is the distance between the two realistic?

If not, how can I start minimizing the gap starting today?

Do you feel that you are your "ideal" self?

If not, what will you do to get there?

xx Ash